Jade Roper Tolbert is known for her roles on “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelor in Paradise,” but the former reality star’s biggest role is as a mom.
She and her husband, former “The Bachelor in Paradise” co-star Tanner Tolbert, welcomed son Brooks this past summer. Their daughter, Emerson, is 3 years old.
The couple, who shares their daily adventures on social media, planned both pregnancies using a fertility app. She got pregnant with Emerson within two months of trying to conceive.
“Our first experience trying to family plan was so easy for us,” says Tolbert. “We assumed it would be the same way again.”
But getting pregnant with Brooks took 10 months, and that pregnancy was tougher than the first.
“This one has been a lot harder on me, physically, mentally, and emotionally,” she says, noting she was busy the whole pregnancy chasing her toddler around.
In addition to caring for her kids, the 32-year-old is paying close attention to how she feels, too.
“Something I struggle with is the mom guilt or my anxieties,” says Tolbert, who worries about postpartum anxiety and depression. “I know I’ve had so many more emotions this time around.”
Outside influences, like social media and mommy shamers, can be stressors too.
“I feel like the pressure just to be a mom these days is a lot more, and I feel like that contributes to a lot of our worthiness as moms, our mental self-confidence,” she says.
Tolbert wants other women to know everyone’s fertility journey is different.
“No matter if you’ve been trying for a month or you’ve been trying for five years, your feelings are valid,” she says. “What you’re feeling is OK.”
She encourages connecting with a community to support you and not being afraid to ask for help. Make plans but know parenting is on-the-job training.
“As much as you want to plan, it’s still just like you just learn as you go,” she says. “It’s a steep learning curve.”